Wondering where I went....

.....I was starting to wonder the same thing! But tonight, finally, I think I am clawing my way back.  W is out of town for work, so after tucking the kids into bed, cleaning up the dishes and watching New Directions win Nationals on Glee, I made a decision.  No more excuses.  I laced up my shoes, headed out to my garage,  loaded up the bar, channeled my inner Rippetoe and gave it a go.  It felt good, it felt cathartic and I realized how much I missed the feeling I get when I am out there working out. 

Exercise has lots of value.  I know that.  But what I didn't realize is how important working out was becoming to me and my mental state.  Exercising, specifically lifting, gives me a sense of control over my body and helps me quiet my mind for a precious few minutes that I am in the moment.  All the days worries and stresses seem to melt away just long enough to get down to business.  The power that CrossFit has given me extends way beyond my body weight deadlift. It has given me power over my roller coaster of emotions and the ups and downs of everyday life. The mental strength that lifting heavy, powering through a long WOD or having the patience to learn new skill after new skill has been invaluable.  

During my post FRAN hiatus the mommy induced rage was quicker to make an unscheduled appearance, my husbands ill timed attempts at humour were meet with angry disdain rather than a witty comeback and I was starting to seek out the drama wherever I could find it.  It was when I recognised these parts of my old self reappearing that I knew it was time to get back at it.    I underestimated how good it was to have to clear your thoughts and just focus on what was in front of you.  During my break I forgot how important and powerful it is to spend a little time with myself having positive pep talks, thinking of nothing else but the task at hand and just taking time to take a big deep breath. 

CrossFit has been by far the best therapy a crazy drama queen like myself can get.  Hmmmmm...CrossFit Therapy.....I wonder if there is a cert for that?

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